DRAMA OF A FORGOTTEN STAR

DRAMA OF A FORGOTTEN STAR

again all alone
you love being alone don't you?
and being nasty toward people
who care for you
that is your nature
nature of wild...
uncontroled sentiments of
being wildly nasty
siting above the silence
so you dont discuss
have no courage to discuss

you look angry ....loveless
like someone is peeping between doors
all alone.. all ignored..
and finally you smile
like someone who is leaving forever
where to I asked
you are not sure
your mind flies and lands somewhere
you dont care where
so what is the urge
or you finally decided to free yourself
and dismiss your slave soul
what kind of a mood is that
you are surprising me

you are quite
but I know
mountains erupting again in your soul
something burning you
but....
you dont know what it is
so you want to fly
and become a ball of fire
like sliding forgotten star
I feel you said ''yes'' with grief
and whisper with pale voice
you cannot stop it
I know
you want that star shine again
and
you want everybody to see it again
with enjoyment
yessss.... you said like you moaning
yessss.....
once someone sees you like a star
you would be ready to drop that person
and chase the eyes of others
never ending hunger
nothing can satisfy that hunger and thirst
all the river of this planet cannot put off that fire
fire of endless sparks
each carries your desire
never ending desires

yet love is simple
it is hidden in a falling leaf
and it is in every gentle touch
but you screammmm nooooooo
wanting to be a burning star
beyond all modesties
you want that glamour that elusive fascination
you search that magic spell
touching everywhere with blind eyes
senseless fingertips.... revolting
making the gods angry
but you dont care
because you want to be at the center
thinking it is your permenant place
you think you were chosen
to be washed with the rain of spiritual love
yet passing clouds only offer you endless shadow
like a poetic gloom
and its dark fire destroy its grace recklessly

but you are still hungry
like a monster of ancient beauty
you will never be satistfied
because for you
there is no love
you alone in this universe
infact dont need the love
you are the universe
yet noone is trying to discover anymore
self made infinity all alone
glamour of endless
shaping the shadows of sadness

yet love is there
right next to you
if you take off the dress of you
if you become naked
as you arrived into this planet
with all the goodness of universal love
shared by all
instead
not concentrated in a woman of poor fortune
simple like this....

wrinkles...deep scars of your heart
lines of your life
dont know what to do with them
filling your bitterness between them
smooting the agonies
consuming them with wild angers
a monster
sweeping everything
every good feeling of any good intention
preventing every innocent love
not to be flourish in helpless deserts

all of a sudden you asked
''soooo... are you leaving me''
I am not leaving you
I am in you
digest me....

is that what you asked after all
no goddess is suppose to talk like that
I am just a dust
in your monstrous planet

then you surprise me again
asking my picture
finally you are landing on real world
how can you leave your own paradise
and land on this filty world

picture......! are you blind and senseless
you cannot picture me with my words
through my words....
but no ... like every single monster
in the history of planet
you are silly....

I dont know why
but somehow I like you
and keep coming to you
keep touching you
your body becomes very familiar now
I know every inch of your body by heart
realise that every inch
smells different
feels different
like a true Goddess ready to deliver
beauty of every inch
all different....all smell unique within
yet...it is just for proving her own beauty
selfish like endless sky
where dead stars are crying
never will shine again
your tears making the lake of gloom
but answer is in love
and it is there in an unknown
corner of the midnight moon
ready to be taken with all its treasures
only thing it desires
is the loyalty and respect
thats not you can crown the love with
you just want to consume it
for your ego’s endless hunger
you break the crown into pieces
destroy everything
until there is no possible corner
in the whole universe
to hide an innocent love

yes thats what you want
thats what you do
hunger of you ego
wants to be last
to be destroyed
IT cannot stand to see
single object behind her
you belive you are sent to this planet
and sent in such an important day
you are a miracle
supernatural
violation of universal rules
makes you blind for simple happiness
and a simple love is there to change the fate

tell me
how you feel
the warm hands on your cold body
does it take you away
from the kingdom of ice
frozen and dormant for years
all these years
why you didnt come back to me
you are afraid arent you?
simple touch would have opened
the shining sky in a moment
lake of glooms
would have evaporated instantly
so no reflection of your supernatual EGO
then simple love
would have pulled you down to earth

what a dilemma
glamorous sky or filthy earth

so sleep now
stay in sky
I will come to you all naked
with universal reality
and will touch
your monstrous desires
desires that forgotten for years
of simple touch
with infinitive enjoyment
that you have missed so long
unforgotten touch of glamourus past
when stars used to slide deep in you
with pleasant trace of the dust of gold
yes it was yours
you have forgotten now
selfishly nervous
with ever growing self image
that make you smaller and smaller everyday

simple touch can teach you that
hunger is not a real hunger
but false image of your EGO

yet you secretly took me deep in you
strange.......but fits your needs
your humanly needs
remining you that
you are a simple woman
remining you that
greatness is hidden in simplicity

even though you are wild
you are uncontrolable
something deep from you saying different
bothering you
being a humanbeing is not too far from you

PARADOX
of your wholeness
so paradox becomes an option
does it confuse you?
hope so...
maybe you can be understood better
and kick out permenantly from heaven
and once you stand up for that
you may be considered as a real power
I can hear you saying ‘give it to me’
but can you handle it ?
you always use the power of others
using your own power may humiliate you
can you handle it....
your past image with present
for shaping the future
to gain some
you sacrifice more
for the time being

‘ tucked in a soul ‘
you are a hypocrite
power hunger hypocrite
‘ to much compession to temper ‘
is that what you say and describe
now both touched to you
I offered that to you
and pushed you into universe
as you pushed me
the space of endless love
so you may understand
the feeling of flying in endless emptiness

and you say
‘ I love endless freedom to love ‘
it is almost blind
all dark that you scared of
at the edge of the emptiness
inch away from falling down
in an absolute dark

you screammmmm ‘ nooooooooo...’
whose dark is that then
you want dark
which doesnt cause absolute blindness
but you are blind already
in your endless darkness
I dont mind
I recognise you
as soon as I touch you
as soon as I taste you
as soon as you take your first breath
then I will hold your hand

‘ you of little faith ‘
you scared again
becoming very earthly
feeling the warmness of my hands
their hesitancy will tell you who I am
once you feel it you will never leave me
in either way
simple
or
endless sophistication
I let you choose
for your earth journey
now you will have more and more of my love
and you will ask more and more to consume
your sneaky intentions
you selfish eartly woman of sky

now you call me ‘ cruel ‘
but
it will be permenant love making
as cruel as you are selfish
yes as cruel
beyond touching you
I am in you
in you silly monster
worshiping everywhere
in your desert ..in your ocean
in your rivers
so you can feel as a goddess on earth
then you deliver beauty and joy
and feed me with your taste of universe
I leave every earthly taste in you
I let them crawling
every move is me
like your sliding stars
omnipresent here and there
and everywhere
in the kingdom of perversity
yet winds are hidden
and all the waves oozed into the rock
of glomorus past

Cemil Yavuz Oncelay

Picture by C Y Oncelay

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